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A Farewell to Evil
ghost93inside
[This post was originally written for Face book. It was written in response to some commentary I read there last week, particularly from rural conservatives. I usually refrain from using my friends lists for petty discrimination against others if I don't like something they've said but I acknowledge others right to do so. that is the message of this post.]

Diversity in thought is the keystone of evolution. I was personally deeply enraged by the attacks on 911 and it has nothing to do with zenophobia and bias and prejudiced or religious intolerance. Understand that anger is a step in the grief process and we experience grieving when we suffer loss. I felt the loss of those people on 911 because I know what it is like to loose loved ones from a violent act of crime. I can't say if it's because of years of mystical exercises or similiar experience or simply common human empathy but I felt the overwhelming pain of those people, their shock, and their desperation and no it didn't help that my wife was walking around clutching a teddy bear wrapped in our flag.

Every year on 911 I sat through the roll call and memorial stuff out of a sense of respect and wept because I couldn't help it. When I would work through that, I would go into my little space and hammer on my boxing bag for a while until I was worn out. you can't always tell from the choice of words I use but I have a deep regard for human life. I call it reverence and this is at the root of my grief, pain and anger. I don't dismiss any one's death, but in terms of acts of war I respect and understand the sacrifice that professional soldiers make. Civilians should not be deliberate military targets. When you have known conflict in your life and been forced to embrace it for the sake of controlling it to achieve a peace for yourself then you learn to develop a system of ethics. these are often very rigid boundaries and sometimes they are more flexible. I don't excuse any attack on civilians, muh less innocent ones like children.. I just don't know how to explain to people why military intervention is sometimes necessary because it can be a complicated matter and I also don't want to decieve anyone. I have never served a day in my life because of the circumstances of growth. I wasn't allowed to and maybe that's a good thing but if you can understand that sometimes people cherish living values and make a choice to believe in in a way of life then maybe you can also understand that I would have been greatly honored to carry out missions over there even if it meant pumping gas or digging holes or walking kids to school or mosque or whatever.

this guy and his organization is a twisted perversion of a human being. that might sound too strong to you to say that I respect everyone's opinion, but by every measure bin Ladin and his ilk are not people you can reason with so you are really left with one of 2 choices. one is to seek him out and destroy him. the other is to isolate and contain him until he tries something bad and then take action to stop him. We can't have everything we ask for at the same time. It costs staggering amounts of money to maintain operations in foreign lands, so if we went with containment, then we are sucking our economy dry and we now where that has been getting us. if we go get him and remove him as a threat then it's politically messy and people bitch and it's always the people who don't or seldom seem to want to give in their own lives for the sake of others. We all live in a disneyland for dummies and we get detatched to the realities of the price for living in a giant adult playground while the rest of the world is drinking toilet water from holes inthe ground and dying from sickness. maybe that's why they hate us so much and they really, really do hate and want us ALL dead. Not Muslims, but little pockets of fanatics spread around the world and they want it so much they teach their children to role play games as suicide bombers and chants like the kill the Americans.

I completely understand the jubilence and cheer over his death. I personally didn't feel it. I felt gravity followed by peace and understood in an instant how important it was to allow me to heal my own pain and hell I can't imagine what it was like for the people of New York and the ones who are still dying today from cancer. if you have never lost someone close to you from a violent crime I don't think you'll ever understand, and that's fine, that's how it should be. When a crime goes unresolved you relive that pain over and over and over and over and it drives you intoa state of rage and hatred until you want to commit violence yourself. My brother and I used to make dummies of the man who killed our father and shout at them and shot them with guns and beat them and cut them and threw chinese stars at them and so on because that was the only way we could cope with our grief and it gave us some false sense of justice that allowed us to drag ourselves through life. The majority of people interviewed in the Muslim world seem to understand that we need to grieve and heal and this is rather big of them don't you think?

No, I didn't jump and shout. I sat quietly watching the news and thinking and feeling and then I wen to bed and the next day I felt different. I think people should use a little restraint at times like this and have a little understaniding. There are facts to human nature that are not so pretty and idealistic as we want to believe. Sometimes the lesser of two evils is necessary and it can lead to healing instead of suffering. On 911 this year I anticipate some sadness and tears and some relief and good cheer and this is all necessary so wecan move on as a nation and maybe even build a better relationship with the Arab world one day, so please, don't get in the way of that and let the out pouring occur in whatever form it takes.

I fully expected some politicalnonsense out of this, and whatdaya know, it's already started. the notion that the President doesn't deserve credit for this accomplishment is ubsurd. There is a clear and undeniable chain of evidence that directly demonstrates his role and I think the people who are beginning to marginalize him and belittle him and descredit him or his part in it really show us their blind ignorance and foolish bias and further i think they are slaves to their own prejudice and will never enjoy the strength or freedom of indepant thought if they can't do more than act like talking parrots. it's because he's black, isn''t it? For the record I'm a white man and not one black man I know has suggested this. People who used to read my LiveJournal know how upset I was over 911. if they were paying attention they also know that I supported Obama in his campaign soley because he was the only candidate talking about going after bin ladin.. everyone else was talking about other business and we still had unfinished business. As a matter of historical recored, he made it one of his platform points to put the focus back on Afganastan and specifically brought up Pakistan. Pakistani American's didn't like him because they didn't want military action in their country...because they were guilty...because they were sheltering and supporting him. it is a matter of histoircal record that Obama specifically addressed this exact scenario in his debates and speeches on several occasions. i wanted bin Ladin actually to be captured and stand trial, in New york and have to face those people. We got online and debated for Obama. we volunteered for his campaign and attended meetings at the public library. My wife stood out in the rain and shouted at peole through a bullhorn to help with voter registration and gave directions. We made phone calls and sent emails. we were part of a grass roots movement, and I was a Republican, but I wanted bin Ladin dead and no one was willing to go after him.

We saw first hand the racist crap people had to put up with. They tried everything. people showed p and shouted slurs at us and hate and faomed at the mouth. the blacks were all cool headed and didn't take the bait. they weren't goingto let someone use their appearance against them for political reasons. We caught hell from our own families for it too. No, I'm not writing this to broker a peace with anyone. I'm telling it like it was so fuck you and the horse you rode in on too.

Obama got elected and we made history. for the first time I had taken a more active role in politics and I did it for the other side because I wanted bin Ladin dead. This is not a lie I have made up after the fact. readers of my LJ saw me writing about it years ago and if you look at my posts right here in FB I say the same thing. obama did not just sit around and take credit for military action that just happen to be taking during hhis term. he proactively took the lead and gave the order as commander-In-chief to put the pressure back where it belonged. He held 24 separate top secret meetinghs at the White House to sort out intelligence and plan the raid that took place. As a leader, that's his call and I don't think it would have happened if the orders didn't come down from the top. they monitored the raid live during it's execution and he gave the final order to carry it out. he took a gigantic political risk but stated he would do so i such a case and proved the integrity to actually follow through with his promise.

I just saw Fox Noise earlier claim the president wasn't monitoring theraid and began to down play his role in it. Everyone knows how hostile Fox Noise has been to this administration so they have completely ruined their objective credability as a news agency. they are sensational journalism spoon feeding hate and bigotry to rural conservatives and they can't be taken anymore seriously than a common tabloid. By trying to marginalize the President's role in the accomplishment they are hoping to undermine his position in the upcoming campaign and the truly sad thing about the target audieence of media outlets like Fox Noise is that their audience, the demographic they represent are getting exploited by the very powers they profess to oppose, but Fox will never tell.

I'm proud of our President and I feel good about participating in our political process. i wanted something a real change to occur that might later pave the way for a world I want to see us move towards. Obama has proven more moderate than his far Right critics want to admit but he has come through on his promise to capture or kill bin ladin and last i checked that's a hell of a lot more than bush did and i was on his bandwagon too. Ii supported both and Obama has been a better President with more integrity.

I fully expect people to deny him credit and to whittle down his role in positive accomplishments because it's in our nature to bite the hand that feeds us when we're too stupid to recognize something positive if it slapped us in the face. Even Obama's political opponents are praising him and giving him credit for sticking by his guns and taking a big risk and if others can't do the same then it really shows what sad, hopeless frightened little people they are and they look really bad for it. it's important to point out that when you open your mouth and vent such stupid nonsense you destroy your own credability and no one will listen to you except the people who share your opinions already and then you're just preaching to your choir. No one else is listening because you've made such a fool of yourself and didn't get at least some of the facts before opening your mouth. there is such a chain of evidence that proves Obama's role has a preponderence of evidence. If you don't know what that means, it means if we held a public hearing over it you would get completely cremed and have to run away with your tail tucked between your legs. Do you understand that's what going to happen to you if you try and make a stupid argument like that? ...and you had to open your mouth because you can't stand a black man in the White House so go ahead and admit what you're really thinking because it shows all over your nonsense. if this is too much for you you can hide yourself from the truth. You don't hae to be on my friends list. cowardice is just a click away.

Good to be back
ghost93inside
Almost 5 years ago I deletted my LJ account because I had been using itto vent and work through some ugly emotions related to some life experiences. I decided that the venting had turned into whining and didn't like that. Also, the majority of people on my LJ were fellow members of a fraternal order to which I belonged and I was angry over some administrative decisions. Leaving that community also meant leaving my LJ as well. I guess you could say I was just fed up.

I became very busy with parenting and home upkeep after dropping out of LJ. Additionally, I lost the remainder of my sight, my wife fell on ill health and nearly died and my son was diagnosed with autism. I was coaxed into signing on to My Space and then Face book as well as Windows Live. Using these sites with a screen reader is like wading through a mountain of ads adn junk code. You spend over an hour real time to get to your 5 minutes of content with a screen reader, so I didn't use them as often. Windows Live and My Space both deleted their blogs and Face Book has put severe restriction on theirs making their bloggin service practically worthless. so here I am and it's much easier to use this site than the others if you're blind. I can just load up semagic and type away withot the hours of interruption.

I'm still massively busy being a dad and there are projects around here we need to get done as well. Trying to integrate with mainstream life for the benefit of the social interaction my son will receive has left me feeling like a foreigner, a stranger in a strange land. We have been dealing a lot with the school system of course, but also with various churches looking for good youth groups and a culture that is tolerable to my belief system. I think we found a decent one and we have a great family of neighbors, but damn, very little has changed since I was turned away from church as a kid. It's still populated by frightened insecure and intolerant people who hide their fears and weaknesses behind their religion and are still openly hostile to others of different belief systems. These are not lessons I want my kid to learn so I'm not sure how much longer that will last, but I'll give it a chance for my son. I will do anything for him that is within my power to do. I have learned recently though that elements of mysticism such as meditation and systems f mnemonics seem to be prescribed for kids with autism spectrum disorders as well as...yes, martial arts. I don't expect Christians to be friendly towards that kind of thing.

Friday I hae to go in to have a kidney stone removed. it's about 10mm so it's too big to pass, and hey, I just passed 2 last week. so in a couple of days I will probably be doped up a little while and cross our fingwers for me will ya? I'm hoping for a more painless event this time. I have a pile of nonsense that I've been accumulating on my machine from attempts to post things to Face Book that I hope to post here soon but it's in dire needof editing. You see spell checkers don't work with screen reades very well and I can't tell if the text looks right if I can't read it myself. Bye for now.

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